Heartbeat

This post came as quite a surprise!  I received this in an email from my very dear friend, Charmaine Clowers, last night.  She holds such a special place in my heart!  To know Charmaine, is to love her!  Trust me, you will probably need a Kleenex by the end!  If you have ever walked through a trial that takes you to a dark place, you will relate to this testimony.  If you are there now, I pray that you find healing through Charmaine's testimony and God's Word.

 

Charmaine is married to her husband, Jeff, and is the homeschooling mother to two children.

She is a Children's Church Director at Freedom Fellowship.  You can also find Charmaine

blogging at Four Irises! 

 

Sunday night in church, the piano was playing in the background, (by my amazing friend, Tera ) and a wonderful voice was singing. (my other amazing friend, Betty) Yes, I’m a very blessed girl to have so many gifted friends. During this time, I was at the altar on my knees asking the Lord to please heal my broken heart; to give me something to hold on to. At that moment, Betty started to sing, "I want to hear your heartbeat." I’m not really sure if she actually said those exact words, but I know that’s what my spirit heard.

For the past 4 months I've been walking around with a smile on my face, but completely heart broken. Two situations in my life had changed my very soul. I have shed many tears, spent sleepless nights; had angry moments, lonely days and doubting times. I was overtaken by bitterness and overwhelmed by sadness. Filled with confusion.

Psalms 107:20 He sent out his word and healed them, and delivered them from their destruction.

I would never have imagined in a million years that I, HAPPY, HAPPY, HAPPY Charmaine, could feel this way. Believe me, I have had many situations in the past that were challenging, sad and very hard, but still, never have I felt this empty.

My emotions were all over the place  I, for some reason (the enemy), was resistant to change it; purposefully pushing away the Lord, His word, my husband ,family and friends . I wanted to stay in this dark place; “Just let me be. I'm fine.” I kept on smiling to everyone. That was the enemy using my pain and pride to lead me to destruction.

Psalms 34: 18 says, “The LORD is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.” 

 

I realize that in the last month God’s love and mercy were pushing back and fighting this enemy. I wanted to be completely restored, so I begin to fight by letting people back in, getting prayed for and praying. Trying my hardest to get back to a happier place.

He, my God, my faithful God that has NEVER forsaken me, was right there.  Why was I not letting him take control of my life again? I know what he can do. He loves me!

 

Psalms 147:3 He heals the brokenhearted and

binds up their wounds.

 

When I heard Betty singing those words, I felt the Lord telling me that He wants to hear my heartbeat again. He wants to heal my broken heart. I just have to let him do it. Trust Him.

 

Isaiah 41:10 Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed,

for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you,

I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

 

He who created me was telling me, "Fear not , for I am with you." He is always with me. He is not ignorant of my pain. He has heard my cry and he wants to heal me.

 

Psalms 73:26 My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.

 

He is my strength and my comforter. I feel his love for me. I give all the Glory to Him who has set me free once again! My journey to a peaceful place has begun.

We all can be healed and delivered from a broken heart. No matter what the situation, He is our answer, and tonight He hears my heartbeat again.