Modesty is a hot topic in churches today. So many people don't want to talk about it! Some try to make it about rigid legalistic rules or swing to the extreme other side with an attitude that our clothing should not matter, only what's in our heart. My thoughts on this are written so much better by my friend, Bambi.
"GOD SEES MY HEART!" It’s amazing to me that we say that like it’s a good thing. What we allow folks to see on the outside is usually several shades lighter than the sin that actually lives there. Clothing is often a good indicator of spiritual condition. - Bambi Moore, More than Rules-Exploring the Heart of Beauty and Modesty
I have been praying about writing this for a while because I know what a sensitive subject it is. I have decided to not dance around the subject in hopes of not offending anyone, so I pray you will know that what I say is out of love.
What do you think of when you hear the title Modest Wife and what does modesty even mean to you? I asked this question on Facebook yesterday, and here are some of the responses.
Upholding integrity within yourself. If it's inside the outside will portray it. Dale said when he thinks of a modest wife the first thing that comes to his mind is a woman that her husband can be proud to call his own. - Naomi C.
When I read it what came to my mind was clothing. To me it means covering yourself up being beautiful by your character and sweet spirit not trying to spark someone's interest by just your physical appearance. - Melissa P.
Love. The covenant we have with Jesus Christ to love others. Preventing another person from lusting is demonstrating love for that person & being a good role model for younger women is demonstrating love for them & by being modest you are also making a statement that you love your spouse, as well as yourself, which ultimately reflects Jesus's love for us. - Jessica H.
Having respect not just for my husband but my daughters . It is my Job to teach them modesty and words are cheap but how I act and dress is always on display and if you don't want your daughter wearing it or acting a certain way the you need to be the example. - Christina K.
Ladies have a lot to say on this subject and I absolutely loved all the answers. You can read the whole thread HERE!
1 Timothy 2:9-10 Likewise also that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire, but with what is proper for women who profess godliness—with good works.
In God, My Heart, and Clothes, C.J. Mahaney said this. "Modesty means propriety. It means avoiding clothes and adornment that are extravagant or sexually enticing. Modesty is humility expressed in dress. It’s a desire to serve others, particularly men, by not promoting or provoking sensuality."
On immodesty he said this, "Immodesty, then, is much more than wearing a short skirt or low-cut top; it’s the act of drawing undue attention to yourself. It’s pride, on display by what you wear."
1 Peter 3:1-4 Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct. Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious.
The American Heritage Dictionary defines modesty as “reserve or propriety in speech, dress, or behavior.”
Modesty is all about the attitude of the heart, and Ladies, what you choose to wear REFLECTS your attitude towards God's Word. It makes me sad when sisters I know who love the Lord, choose immodest fashionable clothing over what they know to be right and modest apparel. Even with innocent motives, the attitude this shows is that you care less about protecting others (namely my husband) from seeing your body and more about being cool and fashionable. (Even if that is not the statement you are trying to make!)
How does a woman discern the sometimes fine line between proper dress and dressing to be the center of attention? The answer starts in the intent of the heart. A woman should examine her motives and goals for the way she dresses. Is her intent to show the grace and beauty of womanhood? Is it to reveal a humble heart devoted to worshiping God? Or is it to call attention to herself and flaunt her beauty? Or worse, to attempt to lure men sexually? A woman who focuses on worshiping God will consider carefully how she is dressed, because her heart will dictate her wardrobe and appearance. ~ John MacArthur
1 Corinthians 8:13 Therefore, if food makes my brother stumble, I will never eat meat, lest I make my brother stumble.”
Mark 9:42 “Whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him if a great millstone were hung around his neck and he were thrown into the sea.”
Here are some of my own thoughts on Modesty that I am going to throw out there!
*Ladies, just in case you weren't taught, your breasts are supposed to be inside your shirt and not playing peekaboo at the neckline. Under shirts or camis that work wonders to keep this from happening!
*Ask someone around you before you leave the house if you can see down your shirt. Most men are taller than you are, and if your shirt is gaping open at the top, well, you know what they see first. (If you are well endowed, I know this is an ongoing battle, but please continue in the war!)
*Just because it is summer does not mean that God's Word changes. Modesty is not just for winter, spring, and fall. Think about your shorts, strappy shirts, workout clothes, and bathing suits, and consider if it may cause a brother to sin!
*Some seasons it seems almost impossible to find modest clothing. SIDE WITH MODESTY OVER FASHION!
*Here is a rule of thumb to live by. When you are dressed and standing in front of the mirror, consider if you would want another attractive woman standing in front of your husband, sons, or nephews dressed that way, and if you are Honoring God. And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. Col. 3:17
*We need to teach our daughters about modesty BY EXAMPLE because if we don't, the world will teach them what is acceptable.
A. W. Pink said, "Again, if lustful looking be so grievous a sin, then those who dress and expose themselves with desires to be looked at and lusted after—as Jezebel, who painted her face, tired her head, and looked out of the window (2 Kings 9:30)—are not less, but even more guilty. In this matter it is only too often the case that men sin, but women tempt them so to do. How great, then, must be the guilt of the great majority of the modern misses who deliberately seek to arouse the sexual passions of our young men. And how much greater still is the guilt of most of their mothers for allowing them to become lascivious temptresses."
And just for fun, a video by Jessica Rey titled, "Who Said it had to be Itty Bitty?"
I have so much to say on this subject, as you can tell, so I will continue this series next week! Happy Wednesday!
I applaud you for addressing this issue. The video was especially thought provoking. Modesty is a struggle. When I see another women dressed immodestly it is so infuriating, but then instead of inspiring me to take the high road it sometimes causes me to think that I have to outdo her! (This must be what insanity is!) I don't like the response she brings from men in my life, so it occasionally causes me to take extreme measures to counteract HER influence by exerting like influence; what a vicious cycle. The honest truth is sometimes ugly :(
ReplyDeleteAnyway, I am going upstairs to get my bikinis and throw them away. Enough is enough and we must realize that our actions DO influence the younger women in our lives and not just them but the younger men in our lives too. We are to be an example of the Godly woman not just for our daughters sakes but also for our sons so that they will know what to look for in a wife. If we, their mothers can't show them a picture of modesty and godliness, then we are in horrible trouble!