Wedded Wednesday:Sacrifice in Marriage!

I'm sure if you have been reading Passionate With a Purpose very long, you know that Wedded Wednesday is my favorite day of the week!  This is such a treat!  Buddy Buckner is my guest writer today.  He and his wife, Kayla serve as Sr. High School Youth Pastors, lead the Youth Praise Team, and are a part of the Freedom Fellowship Praise team.  Buddy plays drums, and Kayla sings!  They have been married for seven years and have two beautiful children, Emily and J.B, and one on the way.  How exciting is that!           -Tera

Buddy and Kayla Buckner

          I do not consider myself to be an expert on the subject of marriage, but I have learned at least a few lessons in the almost 7 wonderful years that I have been married to my beautiful wife! (brownie points) No it really is true.  It has been 7 years filled with good times and with trials, and my wife is a beauty. Things worth having and holding onto don’t always come easy. But I know the reward for enduring hard times and working thru differences is far greater.  We live in a day when it seems easy to give up.  You can drive down the road and see billboards advertising a cheap and easy divorce.  The devil knows the institution of marriage is a God thing so he tries to promote its destruction every opportunity he gets.  But thanks be unto God who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.

          One lesson I have learned in marriage, and I continue to learn to this day, is that of being unselfish. My wife, Kayla, is naturally a giving person.  She bends over backwards and makes sacrifices for me all the time without the adequate thanks that she certainly deserves. She takes care of the kids and the home relentlessly and doesn’t ask for accolades.  I, on the other hand, am a taker who is slowly learning how to be more of a giver.  One thing is certain; selfishness will wreak havoc on a marriage relationship.  There have been times that my selfishness has caused problems.  Now I don’t want to paint an image of perfection about my wife, because she has her shortcomings as well as I, and she would agree with me on that.  I do know that selfishness has been one of the continual tests that the Lord has been placing before me.  We can become wrapped up in ourselves without any attention to the needs of our spouse.  When everything becomes about us, and our happiness then I believe we are missing the point of the marriage relationship that God ordained.  Marriage is about sacrifice.  Sacrifice must be given from both sides.  The Word of God tells us this in Ephesians 5: 22-33 (NKJV):

“Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is the head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body.

Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of the water by the Word, that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish.

So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones.

For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless let each one of you in particular love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.”

From these scriptures I see a main point of sacrifice for the husband and a main point of sacrifice for the wife:

Husbands, love your wife as yourself.

Wives, submit to (respect) your husband.

 

I believe women look for love and adoration and men look for respect.  When one or the other is selfish, and does not provide their reasonable sacrifice in the marriage, things will get rough.  A man needs to love his wife and treat her like he would himself; with love, respect, adoration, appreciation, and any other virtue that creates value and self-worth within her. When a woman is treated correctly she becomes a blossoming flower in a field on a beautiful spring day.  (Men take notes here!) God created her this way.  If we have a problem with that then we need to take it up with Him, I suppose!

 

Men, on the other hand, want respect.  A contentious woman is like a constant dripping on a rainy day.  It is better to dwell on the housetop than in the house with a brawling woman. Those are words of wisdom from a man that had 700 wives!  If anyone should know about women it should be him right?  A man wants to feel respected.  When a woman submits to her husband it makes him feel as though she respects him and it fulfills the God-given desire He placed within the man to be a leader and protector.  How does a woman submit to her husband?  She allows him to lead and be the head of the home as was ordained by God.  Men were created to lead.  Men were created to lead in the home.  Men must accept that call and understand there is no greater call in the world!  Our families need us to be men of God that lead!

 

When we live our lives in line with the Word of God, we will have a blessed home and a blessed family.  For a marriage to work properly, Christ must be in the center of the relationship.   Both individuals must accept Jesus as Lord and Savior.  Marriage takes work and God never intended that we go thru it alone without His love and grace.  If you do not know Jesus as Lord and Savior, ask Him into your heart and life today.  Confess that you are a sinner. Believe that He is the Son of God that died for your sins.  Start a new life of following Christ and living in His word.  Become a new creation!

In conclusion, husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church and wives submit to your husbands and his God-given leadership and live happily ever after.