Wedded Wednesday:The Modest Wife

Modesty is a hot topic in churches today.  So many people don't want to talk about it!  Some try to make it about rigid legalistic rules or swing to the extreme other side with an attitude that our clothing should not matter, only what's in our heart.  My thoughts on this are written so much better by my friend, Bambi.  

 

"GOD SEES MY HEART!"  It’s amazing to me that we say that like it’s a good thing. What we allow folks to see on the outside is usually several shades lighter than the sin that actually lives there. Clothing is often a good indicator of spiritual condition. - Bambi Moore, More than Rules-Exploring the Heart of Beauty and Modesty

 

I have been praying about writing this for a while because I know what a sensitive subject it is.  I have decided to not dance around the subject in hopes of not offending anyone, so I pray you will know that what I say is out of love.

 

What do you think of when you hear the title Modest Wife and what does modesty even mean to you?  I asked this question on Facebook yesterday, and here are some of the responses.

 

Upholding integrity within yourself. If it's inside the outside will portray it. Dale said when he thinks of a modest wife the first thing that comes to his mind is a woman that her husband can be proud to call his own. - Naomi C.

 

When I read it what came to my mind was clothing. To me it means covering yourself up being beautiful by your character and sweet spirit not trying to spark someone's interest by just your physical appearance.              - Melissa P.

 

Love. The covenant we have with Jesus Christ to love others. Preventing another person from lusting is demonstrating love for that person & being a good role model for younger women is demonstrating love for them & by being modest you are also making a statement that you love your spouse, as well as yourself, which ultimately reflects Jesus's love for us. - Jessica H.

 

Having respect not just for my husband but my daughters . It is my Job to teach them modesty and words are cheap but how I act and dress is always on display and if you don't want your daughter wearing it or acting a certain way the you need to be the example. - Christina K.

 

 

Ladies have a lot to say on this subject and I absolutely loved all the answers.  You can read the whole thread HERE!



 

1 Timothy 2:9-10 Likewise also that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire, but with what is proper for women who profess godliness—with good works.

In God, My Heart, and Clothes, C.J. Mahaney said this.  "Modesty means propriety. It means avoiding clothes and adornment that are extravagant or sexually enticing. Modesty is humility expressed in dress. It’s a desire to serve others, particularly men, by not promoting or provoking sensuality."

On immodesty he said this, "Immodesty, then, is much more than wearing a short skirt or low-cut top; it’s the act of drawing undue attention to yourself. It’s pride, on display by what you wear."

1 Peter 3:1-4  Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct. Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear—  but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious.

 

The American Heritage Dictionary defines modesty as “reserve or propriety in speech, dress, or behavior.” 

 

Modesty is all about the attitude of the heart, and Ladies, what you choose to wear REFLECTS your attitude towards God's Word.  It makes me sad when sisters I know who love the Lord, choose immodest fashionable clothing over what they know to be right and modest apparel.  Even with innocent motives, the attitude this shows is that you care less about protecting others (namely my husband) from seeing your body and more about being cool and fashionable. (Even if that is not the statement you are trying to make!)   

 

How does a woman discern the sometimes fine line between proper dress and dressing to be the center of attention? The answer starts in the intent of the heart. A woman should examine her motives and goals for the way she dresses. Is her intent to show the grace and beauty of womanhood? Is it to reveal a humble heart devoted to worshiping God? Or is it to call attention to herself and flaunt her beauty? Or worse, to attempt to lure men sexually? A woman who focuses on worshiping God will consider carefully how she is dressed, because her heart will dictate her wardrobe and appearance. ~ John MacArthur

 

1 Corinthians 8:13  Therefore, if food makes my brother stumble, I will never eat meat, lest I make my brother stumble.” 

 

Mark 9:42  “Whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him if a great millstone were hung around his neck and he were thrown into the sea.”

 

Here are some of my own thoughts on Modesty that I am going to throw out there!

 

*Ladies, just in case you weren't taught, your breasts are supposed to be inside your shirt and not playing peekaboo at the neckline.  Under shirts or camis that work wonders to keep this from happening!   

 

*Ask someone around you before you leave the house if you can see down your shirt.  Most men are taller than you are, and if your shirt is gaping open at the top, well, you know what they see first.  (If you are well endowed, I know this is an ongoing battle, but please continue in the war!)

 

*Just because it is summer does not mean that God's Word changes.  Modesty is not just for winter, spring, and fall.  Think about your shorts, strappy shirts, workout clothes, and bathing suits, and consider if it may cause a brother to sin!

 

*Some seasons it seems almost impossible to find modest clothing.  SIDE WITH MODESTY OVER FASHION!

 

*Here is a rule of thumb to live by.  When you are dressed and standing in front of the mirror, consider if you would want another attractive woman standing in front of your husband, sons, or nephews dressed that way, and if you are Honoring God.  And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. Col. 3:17

 

*We need to teach our daughters about modesty BY EXAMPLE because if we don't, the world will teach them what is acceptable.

 

A. W. Pink said, "Again, if lustful looking be so grievous a sin, then those who dress and expose themselves with desires to be looked at and lusted after—as Jezebel, who painted her face, tired her head, and looked out of the window (2 Kings 9:30)—are not less, but even more guilty. In this matter it is only too often the case that men sin, but women tempt them so to do. How great, then, must be the guilt of the great majority of the modern misses who deliberately seek to arouse the sexual passions of our young men. And how much greater still is the guilt of most of their mothers for allowing them to become lascivious temptresses."

 

And just for fun, a video by Jessica Rey titled, "Who Said it had to be Itty Bitty?"

 

 

I have so much to say on this subject, as you can tell, so I will continue this series next week!  Happy Wednesday!

 

 

 

  

 

  

Wedded Wednesday:Visionary Wives

 

I once thought marriage took

Just two to make a go

But now I am convinced

It takes the Lord also.

And not one marriage fails

Where Christ is asked to enter

As lovers come together

With Jesus at the center:

But marriage seldom thrives

And homes are incomplete

Till He is welcomed there

To help avoid defeat.

In homes where God is first

It's obvious to see

Those unions really work,

For marriage still takes three.

 

-Perry Tanksley

 

**Thank you Mama Joyce (as she is called by many women in our church) for giving me this poem!  You are truly an encourager and a Titus 2 role model in my life.

 

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12  Two are better than one, Because they have a good reward for their labor.  For if they fall, one will lift up his companion.  But woe to him who is alone when he falls, For he has no one to help him up.  Again, if two lie down together, they will keep warm; But how can one be warm alone?  Though one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him.  And a threefold cord is not quickly broken.

 

 

Part of what I am about to share, I had prepared to teach at our Ladies Conference a few weeks ago.  The Holy Spirit had other plans that day, so I thought I'd share it today.  This is the short version, and it is still pretty long.  Imagine if I had not condensed it! LOL!

 

 

We need Godly vision in our marriages and in our homes.  Proverbs 29:18 says, Where there is no vision; the people perish: But he that keeps the law, HE IS HAPPY.

 

Vision- a mental picture of what the future will or could be; an idea of what you are working towards

 

We need vision in our homes!  When we aim for a goal without making a plan, we are setting ourselves up for failure.  You can't build a house without a blueprint, and you can't build a Godly legacy without a God-given vision.

 

Proverbs 14:1 The wise woman builds her home, but the foolish pulls it down with her hands.

 

First and foremost, we must maintain a very close relationship with the Lord.  We grow to know Our Savior the same way we get to know anyone else: by spending time with Him.  I can not stress enough the importance of reading our Bible and praying everyday.  If we don't, we will never have to the strength or the tools to take on the tasks God has set before us as a wife.

 

Secondly, we must prioritize our life.  After Christ, our husbands come first.  PERIOD!  If something is keeping you from being the wife and/or mother that you know God intends for you to be, it needs to be examined.  The relationships in our home need to be the first priority in our life.  These are the scriptures that help me maintain vision in my relationship with my husband.

 

1 Corinthians 11:3  But I want you to know that the head of every man is Christ, the head of woman is man, and the head of Christ is God.

 

Ephesians 5:22-23  Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.   For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body.

 

1 Peter 3:1-4  Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives,  when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear.  Do not let your adornment be merely outward—arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel—  rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God.

 

1 Corinthians 7:2-5  Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband.  Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband.  The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.  Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.

 

I also suggest reading through Song of Solomon.  I recommend reading it with your husband!

 

As part of the testimony and legacy we build for our husbands and ourselves, we need to raise Godly children who will know the Word and Will of God and will carry His image throughout the earth.  We need a Godly vision to see children the way God sees them: as blessings!  Bring on the babies!  Lots and lots of babies!  ☺  We need an ARMY of Soldiers who are equipped to take dominion for the Kingdom of God!  The scriptures below help us have vision for our children.

 

Genesis 9:7  And as for you, be fruitful and multiply; Bring forth abundantly in the earth and multiply in it.

 

Psalms 127:3-5 Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, The fruit of the womb is a reward.  Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, So are the children of one’s youth.  Happy is the man who has his quiver full of them; They shall not be ashamed, But shall speak with their enemies in the gate

 

Exodus 1:7  But the children of Israel were fruitful and increased abundantly, multiplied and grew exceedingly mighty; and the land was filled with them.

 

Deuteronomy 6:4-9   Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one!  You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength.  “And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart.  You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up.  You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes.  You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.

 

Isaiah 54:13  All your children shall be taught by the Lord, And great shall be the peace of your children.

 

Proverbs 22:6  Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it.

 

**Psalms 144:12  That our sons may be as plants grown up in their youth; That our daughters may be as pillars, Sculptured in palace style.

 

We have to be willing to allow God to use us to bring life into the world, and then we have to be willing to lay down our lives to train these children up as disciples of Jesus Christ.

 

Why?  Psalms 78:7-8  That they may set their hope in God, And not forget the works of God, But keep His commandments; And may not be like their fathers, A stubborn and rebellious generation, A generation that did not set its heart aright, And whose spirit was not faithful to God.

 

In all of our doing, Wives, our husbands heart has to safely trust in us! (Prov. 33:11)  They have to know that we can be content and joyful in little or abundance.  They have to know that we are able and competent to handle their affairs.

 

I am studying Proverbs 31:10-31 which you can read here.  This gives us a picture of how a Godly woman handles the business of the home for her husband.

 

I would like to share with you a  few things I have been seriously examining in how I handle the business of my home.

 

-Am I wise with our finances? 

 

Study the Word and see what God has to say about your money.  It is His anyway!  Find ways to prove to your husband that you are trustworthy and able to help him.   Find ways to make cuts in your spending!  Ladies, I truly believe that WE CAN DO THIS!

 

-Am I hospitable to those around me? 

 

A  warm smile and simple, "Hello.  How are you?" goes a long way!  Everywhere we go, we represent our husbands.  If you are more introverted, and your husband likes to have guests frequently, remember your hospitality is honoring to Him.  Be cautious against bitterness creeping in about how much work it creates for you, but be thankful you have a husband who loves and cares for people. 

 

Just the other day, Billy Joe told me I had walked by one of his friends without even acknowledging them and it embarrassed him for me to be so rude.  Of course, I did not even realize I had done it because I was on a mission to do something, but it made me realize that I needed to slow down and take more time for people.  I made a mental note to work on being more courteous and friendly and making sure to speak to people even if I think they don't see me.  Since it does not come naturally to me, I really have to work at it.  But for him, I'd do just about anything!

 

-Is my home inviting?   

 

Be a keeper of your home.  Make your home a place that your husbands wants to come home to!  I like to run through the house about 10 minutes before Billy Joe gets home and just make sure the house is straight.  We used to do much better about making sure our greeting to him was most welcoming.  (I said I will not pretend on this blog....)  I do think it is very important, and am working to get everyone back in the habit of making it a celebration for Daddy to be home!

 

These scriptures give us a vision or idea of what we are working toward!  What we want our homes to look like!  With Jesus Christ at the center of our marriage and our home, we can make that vision a reality!  My prayer is that we will all become VISIONARY WIVES!

 

This is my favorite excerpt from Secrets of Happy Home Life, 1874, by J.R. Miller.

 

“Home is the true wife’s kingdom. There, first of all places, she must be strong and beautiful. She may touch life outside in many ways, if she can do it without slighting the duties that are hers within her own doors. But if any calls for her service must be declined, they should not be the duties of her home. These are hers, and no other one’s. Very largely does the wife hold in her hands, as a sacred trust, the happiness and the highest good of the hearts that nestle there. The best husband—the truest, the noblest, the gentlest, the richest-hearted—cannot make his home happy if his wife be not, in every reasonable sense, a helpmate to him.

In the last analysis, home happiness depends on the wife. Her spirit gives the home its atmosphere. Her hands fashion its beauty. Her heart makes its love. And the end is so worthy, so noble, so divine, that no woman who has been called to be a wife, and has listened to the call, should consider any price too great to pay, to be the light, the joy, the blessing, the inspiration of a home.

Men with fine gifts think it worth while to live to paint a few great pictures which shall be looked at and admired for generations; or to write a few songs which shall sing themselves into the ears and hearts of men. But the woman who makes a sweet, beautiful home, filling it with love and prayer and purity, is doing something better than anything else her hands could find to do beneath the skies.”





The Praying Wife!

"I used to pray that God would feed the hungry, or do this or that, but now I pray that he will guide me to do whatever I'm supposed to do, what I can do. I used to pray for answers, but now I'm praying for strength. I used to believe that prayer changes things, but now I know that prayer changes us and we change things." Mother Teresa

 

Prayer changes us.  I have heard several women give testimonies that they were praying for their husband's attitude or decision to change about a situation, and the wife realized she was the one who needed to change.  The Holy Spirit did an amazing work in their heart and the marriage was better for it!  It is amazing how God reveals His will to us when we are humbled in prayer.

 

 

 

Wives, there are tough decisions our husbands will face (jobs, finances, etc.), and they need our prayers a lot more than they need our advice.  This is especially hard for me because by nature I am a doer and fixer, as I assume most wives are.  My greatest joy in life is helping my husband, but sometimes, the greatest help I can give him is to withhold my opinions and advice and get on my knees and ask God to reveal His will and His plan to my husband.  (I know how hard this is, but it is possible!)

 

The task God has set before our men is not easy.  They are to love, lead, protect, and teach our families the statutes of God.  They are to provide and be good stewards of all that the Lord has given them.  They are to know God's will for our family and direct us.  What a responsibility has been placed on them!  But I believe this, God is faithful, who has called you into fellowship with his Son, Jesus Christ our Lord. (1 Cor. 1:9) He will lead our husbands if we will get out of the way and let Him!

 

Here are some scriptures to pray over our husbands.  These are helpful to me when I am not sure what direction to pray, and when I simply don't have the words.  I originally found this list about 6 months ago at Unveiled Wife.  This is a great website that has a lot of great resources for wives!

 

25 Verses To Pray Over Your Husband

1. That he lives in accordance with God’s plan for his life {Ephesians 4:1-2}
2. That he would continue to lead and that God would be glorified in our marriage {Ephesians 5:25-29}
3. That the Lord would bless his work {Proverbs 22:29}
4. That he would lean on Christ in his trials {Psalm 46:1}
5. His integrity {Proverbs 11:3}
6. His temptations {1 Corinthians 10:13}
7. That he would have a giving heart {Proverbs 28:27}
8. For discernment in handling finances {Luke 16:13}
9. That he would trust in God’s plan, not his own { Jeremiah 29:11}
10. That he would give everything to the Lord in Prayer {1 Thessalonians 5:17}
11. That he would seek wisdom {James 1:5}
12. That God would give him discernment {Philippians 1:9-10}
13. That the Lord would teach him how to be a good husband & likewise me a good wife {Ephesians 5:22-33}
14. That he would submit his fears to God {Psalm 118:6}
15. That he would fully grasp his purpose in Christ {Romans 8:28}
16. For his health {1 Corinthians 6:12}
17. For strength {Psalm 28:7}
18. That he would be surrounded by people who bring him up {Proverbs 13:20}
19. That he would boldly declare the Truth of the Gospel {Acts 28:31}
20. That he would grow spiritually through reading, studying and prayer {2 Peter 3:18}
21. That he would have a humble, teachable spirit {Proverbs 15:33}
22. That he would be full of patience and peace {Romans 14:19}
23. That he would be quick to forgive {1 Corinthians 13 , Ephesians 4:32}
24. His Heart {Proverbs 4:23}
25. His Future {Psalm 119: 105}

 

 

The Humble Wife!

I long to accomplish great and noble tasks, but it is my chief duty and joy to accomplish humble tasks as though they were great and noble.  -Helen Keller

 

 

Easton’s 1897 Bible Dictionary defines “humility” as: a prominent Christian grace. It is a state of mind well pleasing to God; it preserves the soul in tranquility and makes us patient under trials.  It is the opposite of pride.

 

 

The humble He guides in justice,
And the humble He teaches His way.

Psalms 25:9 

 

 

 

I believe that if we desire to be a humble wife, we must first fully understand what it means.  Sometimes we try to make "Spiritual things" more complicated than they are, at least I know I have in the past.  These godly characteristics that we desire to be ARE attainable through the power of the Holy Spirit!  Being humble is putting others before yourself and never building yourself up at the expense of someone else. 

 

Here are some ways the Lord is helping me to become a humble wife. 

 

1.  Don't be quick to blame your husband when there are problems in your marriage, but be ready to examine your own heart.  Admit to your husband when you are wrong, even if it was unintentional.     

 

2.  Accept advice and/or correction from your husband.  Humility leads us to have a teachable spirit. (This has not always been easy for me, but now I understand that there is wisdom in counsel.)

 

3.  Don't gloat when you are right.  Consider your husband's feelings before your own. (It rarely happens that I am right anyway, so this is not a hard one for me! ☺) 

 

4.  Give and accept forgiveness from your husband quickly and freely.  (A wise woman once told me, It is easy to continue in anger, but it is so freeing to give it to God, and forgive.   Though she was not talking about marriage, it has come to my mind several times about my spouse.  He has been very patient these last 13 years as I learned this!) 

 

5.  Learn to give a wise appeal.  (I first learned about this in Created to Be His Help Meet.  If  something is important and it needs to be addressed (for ex. financial stresses or other situations you hate to discuss), with much prayer bring it before your husband.  Be humble and considerate in your presentation.  Consider the weight of your words and how they might affect him.  Then, trust his decision even if it was not the outcome you were hoping for.)    

 

Likewise you younger people, submit yourselves to your elders.

Yes, all of you be submissive to one another, and be clothed with humility,

for "God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble."

1 Peter 5:5

 

By becoming humble, we receive God's grace.  Don't we desperately need it!

The Content Wife

 

If you want a sure way to make your husband despise you, just go ahead and continuously compare everything you have and do with other couples around you.  New cars, houses, clothes, jewelry, vacations......everyone must surely have more than you.  It is so unfair! 

And what about how much time other husbands spend at home or how much they do for their wives?  Oh look, he always opens the car door for her.  He is so caring and attentive to their children.  How did she get so lucky? 

You want to take it a step further?  Make a mental list of all the spiritual attributes other husbands have that yours doesn't.  Shouldn't your husband be more spiritual?  You could really be a Proverbs 31 woman if he actually "loved you as Christ loved the church" like he is supposed to.

Let's top it off with a pity party.  Don't you have to sacrifice so much?  You get up in the middle of the night with the babies.  You stay home if there are sick children.  Everybody in your home needs something from you all the time.  The housework is an unending job without vacation time.  He goes and does as he pleases!

Have you heard any of these?  Have you been the one saying these things?

Comparison is contentment killer.  You will be right on your way to destroying your marriage!  Discontentment is the beginning stages of budding bitterness.  Let me tell you from experience, if bitterness takes root, it is hard to pluck up.  It is a horrible road to go down!

If you want to be a blessing and crown to your husband (Prov. 12:4), then learn to be a CONTENT WIFE!

Contentment - a statement of happiness and satisfaction; fulfillment; peace

Philippians 4:11-13 

Not that I speak in regard to need, for I have learned in whatever state I am,

to be content: I know how to be abased, and I know how to abound. 

Everywhere and in all things I have learned both to be full and to be hungry,

both to abound and to suffer need. 

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

 

Please take note that I did say learn to be content.  No one is born content, it is a learned skill, just like walking and talking.  Through Christ, we can have the strength to be content in every circumstance in our lives.  We can have little and still be full of joy.  We can walk through trials and still be content.  We can serve our family and be content.  It is all about the attitude of our hearts.  We can control that, not our circumstances! 

 

Today, I would love to ask you to join me in a personal challenge.  Make a list of all the things that you struggle to be content with.  Be honest with yourself!  Then pray over the list for one week, asking the Holy Spirit to teach you to be content in whatever state you are in!   

I believe that the Lord is going to do a mighty work in our lives!

 

Be blessed as you become The Content Wife!

 

 



Wedded Wednesday: The Critical Wife

 

  

Proverbs 19:13 says “a quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping.”

Being that wife that has serious heart issues against her husband does not happen overnight!  You know who I'm talking about.  You've probably cringed when she started speaking because you know everything about to come out of her mouth is going to be negative. 

The woman that when you hear her speak of her husband, you think she must surely hate and despise him.  Nothing but harsh and critical talk comes out of her mouth.  Bitterness, frustration, and anger are her theme song.  This didn't start with one disagreement, it happened over a period of time.

During that period of time, instead of choosing joy and love, she chose the need to be right and the need to be justified.  It eats away at you!

Have you ever been The Critical Wife?  I have!  Are you The Critical Wife now?

It is a sad place to be.  I am so thankful for God's grace and direction that showed me how to combat this stronghold in my life!

First of all, here is a good rule of thumb!

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths,

but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs,

that it may benefit those who listen.

Ephesians 4:29

 

 

No matter what issues you and your husband may be facing, do not speak unkindly of him, especially in front of people.  JUST DON'T DO IT!  If you want the heart of your husband to safely trust in you (Proverbs 31:11), it's a safe bet to shut your mouth more than you open it.

 

Trust me, I realize that this is harder than it sounds.  Billy Joe and I do not always see eye to eye.  I have found though, if I want to keep his heart, I must humble myself, bite my tongue when my flesh tries to take over, and only say things that will build him up.  As a matter of fact, I'd rather hear women going overboard the other way and brag on their husband than always putting his faults in front of everyone to see.

Be completely humble and gentle; be patient       

bearing with one another in love.

Ephesians 4:2

When you get married, you are not your own anymore.  You do not "HAVE THE RIGHT" to do what you want, decide what is best, make decisions, or anything else without consideration to what your husband, your spiritual leader, thinks.  You also don't have the right to say whatever you want about them.  It can be detrimental to your marriage!

Luke 6:45 says “The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart,

and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart.

For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks."

 

 

My prayer today is that the Lord would give us such a love and respect for our husbands that our husbands will be RESPECTED IN THE GATES (Prov. 31:23) because our mouths speak from the overflow of our heart!  A heart that honors God by honoring our husbands!  If you know someone who has fallen into the trap of The Critical Wife, take a minute to pray for her. 

 

 

Have a great Wednesday!

 

 

Wedded Wednesday:Happily Ever After

Have you read or watched very many fairy tales?  I was quite a reader, even when I was young, and now I have 4 girls, so I am on my way to becoming an expert! ☺  Most of the stories could be summed up into one story outline.  It would go something like this.

Once upon a time, there was a fairy tale couple, the Princess and Prince Charming.  Every time they turned round, the evil villain was plotting and scheming to kill one them or keep them apart.  The evil villain wanted to rule and reign in their kingdom, generally passed down by one of their fathers, The King.  In the end, good always triumphs and the evil is defeated.  And they live HAPPILY EVER AFTER!

Am I wrong?  Give or take a little, that is probably a basic synopsis.

It is funny that we grow up imagining ourselves to be the princess and marrying our prince, but we forget that even in our 'Once Upon A Time' there is an evil villain, Satan, trying to kill us and keep our marriage apart.(John 10:10)  Our Father, The King of All Kings, has given us the keys to the kingdom.  We are royalty. (1 Peter 2:9)  The Kingdom still belongs to him.  If we endure, we will also reign with him. (2 Timothy 2:12) 

As the Lord was giving me this word last night, this is what he spoke into my heart.

Everyone wants their 'Happily Ever After, but few want to go slay the dragon!' (Including me!)

I knew exactly what that meant.  We all want happy marriages that thrive in love.  We want all the Bible says we can have in a marriage: spiritual covering, love, progeny, respect, etc.  But when the dragon of selfishness, anger, jealousy, pride, bitterness, or any tactic Satan uses against your marriage, few of us will take the time to slay that dragon in our lives. 

Sometimes the dragon seems impossible to face. Other times, you just don't think it's fair that you are the one to have to face it or deal with it. 

We can become the worst enemy of our own marriage when we don't deal with sin issues in our heart.  I have seen it time and again.  I nearly destroyed my marriage years ago when I would not slay the dragon of bitterness in my life.  It is so easy to be selfish, bitter, or angry......it takes a WARRIOR to slay those dragons and save your marriage.  When I say 'save your marriage' that might seem extreme, but it takes a tiny seed of sin to grow into a tree that bares fruit.  Everyone around you starts smelling the rotten fruit on your tree.  It is obvious to all....especially your spouse.  These trees destroy a marriage.

My friend, Naomi sent me this quote the other day.  It is so true!  And because I believe her and her husband, Dale, have such an awesome testimony in their marriage (read here), what she has to say about marriage, I listen intently!

Bad marriages are easy. 

Awesome marriages take

hustle,

focus,

and HERCULEAN STRENGTH!



 

It takes great strength and determination to make the sacrifices necessary to have a good marriage.  If you feel like you have already given so much, and maybe it wasn't reciprocated, give a little more.  Your marriage is worth it!

 

My prayer today is that we will get our armor on and slay some dragons through the power of the Holy Spirit!  Go fight for your HAPPILY EVER AFTER!

 



 

When I say I Do by Matthew West