I once thought marriage took
Just two to make a go
But now I am convinced
It takes the Lord also.
And not one marriage fails
Where Christ is asked to enter
As lovers come together
With Jesus at the center:
But marriage seldom thrives
And homes are incomplete
Till He is welcomed there
To help avoid defeat.
In homes where God is first
It's obvious to see
Those unions really work,
For marriage still takes three.
-Perry Tanksley
**Thank you Mama Joyce (as she is called by many women in our church) for giving me this poem! You are truly an encourager and a Titus 2 role model in my life.
Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 Two are better than one, Because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, one will lift up his companion. But woe to him who is alone when he falls, For he has no one to help him up. Again, if two lie down together, they will keep warm; But how can one be warm alone? Though one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him. And a threefold cord is not quickly broken.
Part of what I am about to share, I had prepared to teach at our Ladies Conference a few weeks ago. The Holy Spirit had other plans that day, so I thought I'd share it today. This is the short version, and it is still pretty long. Imagine if I had not condensed it! LOL!
We need Godly vision in our marriages and in our homes. Proverbs 29:18 says, Where there is no vision; the people perish: But he that keeps the law, HE IS HAPPY.
Vision- a mental picture of what the future will or could be; an idea of what you are working towards
We need vision in our homes! When we aim for a goal without making a plan, we are setting ourselves up for failure. You can't build a house without a blueprint, and you can't build a Godly legacy without a God-given vision.
Proverbs 14:1 The wise woman builds her home, but the foolish pulls it down with her hands.
First and foremost, we must maintain a very close relationship with the Lord. We grow to know Our Savior the same way we get to know anyone else: by spending time with Him. I can not stress enough the importance of reading our Bible and praying everyday. If we don't, we will never have to the strength or the tools to take on the tasks God has set before us as a wife.
Secondly, we must prioritize our life. After Christ, our husbands come first. PERIOD! If something is keeping you from being the wife and/or mother that you know God intends for you to be, it needs to be examined. The relationships in our home need to be the first priority in our life. These are the scriptures that help me maintain vision in my relationship with my husband.
1 Corinthians 11:3 But I want you to know that the head of every man is Christ, the head of woman is man, and the head of Christ is God.
Ephesians 5:22-23 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body.
1 Peter 3:1-4 Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear. Do not let your adornment be merely outward—arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel— rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God.
1 Corinthians 7:2-5 Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband. Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
I also suggest reading through Song of Solomon. I recommend reading it with your husband!
As part of the testimony and legacy we build for our husbands and ourselves, we need to raise Godly children who will know the Word and Will of God and will carry His image throughout the earth. We need a Godly vision to see children the way God sees them: as blessings! Bring on the babies! Lots and lots of babies! ☺ We need an ARMY of Soldiers who are equipped to take dominion for the Kingdom of God! The scriptures below help us have vision for our children.
Genesis 9:7 And as for you, be fruitful and multiply; Bring forth abundantly in the earth and multiply in it.
Psalms 127:3-5 Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, The fruit of the womb is a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, So are the children of one’s youth. Happy is the man who has his quiver full of them; They shall not be ashamed, But shall speak with their enemies in the gate
Exodus 1:7 But the children of Israel were fruitful and increased abundantly, multiplied and grew exceedingly mighty; and the land was filled with them.
Deuteronomy 6:4-9 Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one! You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength. “And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.
Isaiah 54:13 All your children shall be taught by the Lord, And great shall be the peace of your children.
Proverbs 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it.
**Psalms 144:12 That our sons may be as plants grown up in their youth; That our daughters may be as pillars, Sculptured in palace style.
We have to be willing to allow God to use us to bring life into the world, and then we have to be willing to lay down our lives to train these children up as disciples of Jesus Christ.
Why? Psalms 78:7-8 That they may set their hope in God, And not forget the works of God, But keep His commandments; And may not be like their fathers, A stubborn and rebellious generation, A generation that did not set its heart aright, And whose spirit was not faithful to God.
In all of our doing, Wives, our husbands heart has to safely trust in us! (Prov. 33:11) They have to know that we can be content and joyful in little or abundance. They have to know that we are able and competent to handle their affairs.
I am studying Proverbs 31:10-31 which you can read here. This gives us a picture of how a Godly woman handles the business of the home for her husband.
I would like to share with you a few things I have been seriously examining in how I handle the business of my home.
-Am I wise with our finances?
Study the Word and see what God has to say about your money. It is His anyway! Find ways to prove to your husband that you are trustworthy and able to help him. Find ways to make cuts in your spending! Ladies, I truly believe that WE CAN DO THIS!
-Am I hospitable to those around me?
A warm smile and simple, "Hello. How are you?" goes a long way! Everywhere we go, we represent our husbands. If you are more introverted, and your husband likes to have guests frequently, remember your hospitality is honoring to Him. Be cautious against bitterness creeping in about how much work it creates for you, but be thankful you have a husband who loves and cares for people.
Just the other day, Billy Joe told me I had walked by one of his friends without even acknowledging them and it embarrassed him for me to be so rude. Of course, I did not even realize I had done it because I was on a mission to do something, but it made me realize that I needed to slow down and take more time for people. I made a mental note to work on being more courteous and friendly and making sure to speak to people even if I think they don't see me. Since it does not come naturally to me, I really have to work at it. But for him, I'd do just about anything!
-Is my home inviting?
Be a keeper of your home. Make your home a place that your husbands wants to come home to! I like to run through the house about 10 minutes before Billy Joe gets home and just make sure the house is straight. We used to do much better about making sure our greeting to him was most welcoming. (I said I will not pretend on this blog....) I do think it is very important, and am working to get everyone back in the habit of making it a celebration for Daddy to be home!
These scriptures give us a vision or idea of what we are working toward! What we want our homes to look like! With Jesus Christ at the center of our marriage and our home, we can make that vision a reality! My prayer is that we will all become VISIONARY WIVES!
This is my favorite excerpt from Secrets of Happy Home Life, 1874, by J.R. Miller.
“Home is the true wife’s kingdom. There, first of all places, she must be strong and beautiful. She may touch life outside in many ways, if she can do it without slighting the duties that are hers within her own doors. But if any calls for her service must be declined, they should not be the duties of her home. These are hers, and no other one’s. Very largely does the wife hold in her hands, as a sacred trust, the happiness and the highest good of the hearts that nestle there. The best husband—the truest, the noblest, the gentlest, the richest-hearted—cannot make his home happy if his wife be not, in every reasonable sense, a helpmate to him.
In the last analysis, home happiness depends on the wife. Her spirit gives the home its atmosphere. Her hands fashion its beauty. Her heart makes its love. And the end is so worthy, so noble, so divine, that no woman who has been called to be a wife, and has listened to the call, should consider any price too great to pay, to be the light, the joy, the blessing, the inspiration of a home.
Men with fine gifts think it worth while to live to paint a few great pictures which shall be looked at and admired for generations; or to write a few songs which shall sing themselves into the ears and hearts of men. But the woman who makes a sweet, beautiful home, filling it with love and prayer and purity, is doing something better than anything else her hands could find to do beneath the skies.”
